- not a twit
- Posts
- Glam, Grift & Glimpses of Time
Glam, Grift & Glimpses of Time
A dazzling fish, a lightning-fast blink of existence, and birds that know you’re watching—but steal your fries anyway.

Today’s lineup includes tropical fish with a flair for fashion, a unit of time so short it makes your last breakup look eternal, and seagulls... plotting, judging, and maybe stealing your fries with scientific precision.
Strap in—it’s gonna be a wildly informative ride.
🐟 The Fish That Wears Lipstick (Kind Of)
Meet the male Paracheilinus carpenteri, aka the Carpenter’s flasher wrasse. Native to the coral reefs of the Western Pacific, this little guy turns into an underwater disco ball when it's time to impress a lady.
How? By rapidly flashing iridescent colors—reds, oranges, even electric blue—across its body, like nature’s most fabulous LED light show. Think Vegas showgirl meets rave jellyfish. And the pièce de résistance? Bright red lips.
This flamboyant performance isn’t just for show. Studies found that females are more likely to respond to the most dramatic displays—yes, even fish love a little flair.
🔹 Punchline: When it comes to dating, even reef fish know: go bold or get ghosted.
⏱️ The Shortest Unit of Time Has a Name (and It’s Ridiculous)
You’ve heard of milliseconds and nanoseconds, but may I introduce you to the zeptosecond? It’s the shortest unit of time ever measured—a trillionth of a billionth of a second (that’s 0.000000000000000001 seconds, for those counting).
In 2020, scientists used a laser to measure how long it takes a photon to cross a hydrogen molecule: 247 zeptoseconds. That’s faster than your roommate bailing when the check arrives.
Basically, it’s the smallest "now" in existence.
🔹 Punchline: Blink and you’ll miss it? In a zeptosecond, blinking is a leisurely afternoon.
🐦 Seagulls Can Tell When You’re Watching Them—Then Rob You Anyway
Turns out seagulls aren’t just aggressive snack thieves—they’re strategic ones. A 2020 study in the UK found that urban seagulls are more likely to steal your food when you’re not looking directly at them.
Researchers placed identical food items near people and found that seagulls hesitated significantly longer when a human was watching them. But the moment you looked away? BAM—chip heist.
So yes, that seagull staring you down on the boardwalk knows exactly what it’s doing. It’s basically the Ocean’s Eleven of beach birds.
🔹 Punchline: Seagulls: equal parts feathery menace and psychological warfare expert.
From coral couture and microscopic time travel to sneaky, snack-jacking seabirds—this week’s facts remind us that intelligence (and attitude) comes in all shapes and species.
Stay curious (and guard your fries),
— Max Whitt🎩🐟⏱️🐦